Secret Secret, I've Got A Secret

Dear Dr. Diva,

I am 16 year old and am very close to my mother. There is only one problem - she doesn’t know that I go out with boys! She is always telling her friends that I am different and “not interested in that sort of thing.”

My question is whether I should tell her. One time I lied to her and she cried because I had kept a secret from her. I need help.

Does Raul hold the key to your heart?

Honey, you have got to be confident in who you are and in the choices you are going to make. Trust the doctor on this one – it only gets more complicated as you grow up into your teens and twenties. The trick is to only make decisions that you don’t regret or feel ashamed about, and that way you can always be honest with your parents.

If they ask you a tough question, your response should be something like this: “I’m not ashamed of my actions, and I will totally tell you, but only if you are prepared to hear a truthful answer.” Then tell them the truth, but spare the details (duh, every girl should have some secrets!).

So about boys: “If you must know, I am indeed interested in boys, and I may even be dating some right now. His name may or may not be ‘Raul.’”

About alcohol (though you are too young, gf!): “I am not ashamed – I may partake in a few exotic wines or spirits from time to time.”

This works because your parents will begin to realize that (a) they don’t have control over you all the time, and (b) that you are an independent woman who can handle making decisions – you make them fully, are not ashamed, and are just living your life the way you live it.

Go Girl,
Dr. Diva