Playing Footsie Under the Cubicle

Dear Dr. Diva,

I need your help, bad! I have broken one of the most sacred rules of The Office... I had a relationship with a subordinate! Not only is he below me in rank, but he is 6 years younger than me! I knew that it was a bad idea, but at the time he was so persistent and made it seem so right. Well, now 2 months later we are broken up and every day is awkward and uncomfortable. I need some advice about what to do with this situation.


Mmm, my take-out lunch just arrived...


You are right to say that intra-office dating is generally seen as a faux pas – but I think that rule is stupid. Like it or not, the office is taking over the average American’s life more and more – and therefore one’s coworkers will often times overlap with one’s social circle. As long as you both recognize the situation beforehand, and decide that you are willing to take the risk, there is nothing wrong with an office romance.

Yet, it is still true that if things turn sour, you can’t simply avoid the person for the rest of your life. Sure, it’s nice to drop someone like a bad, bad habit – but certainly you are not alone in having to maintain some sort of decent relationship with your ex (think of divorced couples with children). So, you need to clear the air and have a real and open conversation with this person. You have to tell your ex that despite whatever went on in your personal relationship, it is essential that you both respect each other and find a way to make the workplace an environment where you can both continue to work and prosper.

As to the 6 years younger issue… You go girl! Ain’t nothing wrong with that, and I don't care what office you work in!

Your Boss,
Dr. Diva